Vulnerability and Chocolate

Life is about acceptance. Whether we are five, twenty-five, fifty-five, or ninety-five, all we really want to be is accepted. Accepted by our peers, accepted by our family, and accepted by our friends. However, there is one thing that holds us back:  vulnerability.

Vulnerability. One of the hardest things that we face as humans is being vulnerable. Once we open up the door of vulnerability, our hearts have the ability to be broken. However, when we are finally able to free ourselves from the chains of fear that vulnerability puts over our hearts, a sense of freedom comes over us. Freedom to be ourselves, freedom to grow in who we are, and freedom to trust. 

Ironically just the other day I was talking with a friend about vulnerability. Reflecting over the various directions you could go with such a topic, I decided to focus on how it affects us as people, and our relationships with others:

“Being vulnerable is a big deal, and I fear that nowadays some people have a hard time understanding that. It is one thing to be close with someone and share your time with them, but it is another to be completely vulnerable with them and share with them things about yourself that are very deep, that you would not normally share with just anyone.”

Talking with some friends at my Bday party

A couple days ago I was thinking about my missionary orientation program (MOP) that I attended before coming to Germany this past summer. As I think back to that point in my life and the emotions that I was feeling one word comes to mind:  vulnerability. I was vulnerable to the fact that I was leaving everything that I knew and loved to come and serve overseas. I was vulnerable to the fact that I knew nothing and no one in the new environment I was moving to. Lastly, I was vulnerable in my relationship with God – trusting Him with ALL of me in order to be stretched and molded by His hands as I prepared to serve Him at Black Forest Academy.

We need to realize that no matter how hard, painful, and scary vulnerability can be, God is in control and, no matter what we expect to happen or those things that we wish to accomplish, God has a bigger a better plan for our lives. It is often hard to grasp, especially as you go through a change of jobs or environment, that God is fully in control and knows what is to become of our lives. The best expectation to have is to have none. God will take care of everything as long as you leave Him in control.

Anna and I at the Party :-)

Leaving God in control helps us to battle those moments of spiritual and emotional warfare. As believers of Jesus Christ we fully dedicate our lives to the Lord and allow Him to work in and through us as we are on the mission field; however, sometimes we forget that the devil would never pass up an opportunity to take someone such as ourselves down. He (the devil) is constantly going to try and get a foot-hold in our lives and rapidly try to "take us down" through playing into our emotions, which in turn affects our relationships with those around us. I have been learning so much about myself and how the devil is consistently trying to seize different parts of my life that lead me into questioning. Questioning my time on the mission field, questioning my relationships with my believer friends, questioning what my life's purpose is -- and that's when you realize -- that without this attacking that comes straight from the devil we would allow ourselves to possibly become complacent. For it is when the devil is attacking and trying to take over that we know we are doing something right - we are serving our almighty Lord.

Now, the whole time you were reading this you were probably thinking, “Okay, what does vulnerability and chocolate have to do with one another?” Well, I am here to tell you that one of the moments where I was able to be vulnerable within the past couple weeks was at my birthday party (and the various events surrounding it). On April 20^th, 2012 I celebrated a special day in my world. My Birthday. For some a birthday is an event that you might not think too much into, but knowing that this was the first birthday I was having away from home (to me) was quite a big deal. However, with the love of amazing roommates and fabulous friends I was able to spend my birthday weekend in style. My roommates came up with this GREAT idea of celebrating the “24 hours of my 24 birthday.” Now, without going into TOO much boring detail I wanted to just give you a glimpse of what exactly my birthday weekend looked like (and possibly make you wish that you would have been here):

Blowing out the Bday candles

Friday, April 20th:

12am – Birthday card given to me by my roommate along with the words "Happy Birthday to you!".....she had specifically woken up from sleeping to tell me this (I was still awake at this time, of course, haha).

1am, 2am, 3am, 4am, 5am, 6am – My roommates THANKFULLY let me sleep during those hours so technically those hours of my birthday were "skipped"…but I am COMPLETELY okay with that.

7am – I got out of the shower only to find my room FILLED with signs that said "Happy Birthday, Miss Taylor!" along with balloons everywhere.

8am – I received a note on the way out of my apartment from my roommates with the words saying "8am:  Have a great 24 hours of your 24th birthday today!" "Happy Birthday!"

9am – A breakfast croissant given to me by my roommate (she works as the administrative assistant at the BFA middle school).

10am – A chocolate bar! Yum! 

11am – The WHOLE MIDDLE SCHOOL (about 60-65 people) all crowded in one room to sing "Happy Birthday to You" (the Happy Birthday song) to me......SO CUTE! (The end of this was filmed and is currently on Facebook).

Birthday Dinner :-)

12pm – Special Birthday lunch for our staff April birthdays at the middle school that was made for us by the fellow staff members that we work with.....SO YUMMY! Strawberry, Feta, and Chicken on a salad with Poppyseed dressing!! YUM! And the dessert was, well, magnificent! Haha.

1pm - I was "wisked" away by a woman that is my mentor here at BFA and we walked for about 2 hours outside in the sunshine!

2pm – (I missed cause of the walk) – But, when I got back to school there were yellow (my favorite color) flowers on my desk.

3pm – Another piece of chocolate given to me. Yum and yum.

4pm – "Happy Birthday" by NSync played over the middle school LOUDSPEAKER at the school, haha. 

5pm – Presents from my roommates at home, which consisted of TONS of baking materials/pans – they know me well! 

6pm – Dinner made for me by my roommates (Cheesesteak Strombolli shaped like an “M” with a little heart).

Dessert Table #1

7pm – The time that my dessert party started.

Dessert party: everyone brought their own dessert and we ate like pigs....there was "build your own sundae" of course! (A MEGAN must).

8pm – My roommates came out with candles lit in some peanut butter brownies and everyone sang "Happy Birthday" to me.

9pm – A small scrapbook was given to me filled with “sweet notes” from family and friends all over the world.

10pm – A surprise skype date (that I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT) with two DEAR friends from college that will be serving our Lord in Haiti this upcoming year.

11pm – A rendition of the “Happy Birthday” song talked out to me by my roommates followed by a head/shoulder massage.....I was not complaining.

12am – A note on my pillow saying that even though my birthday was over that it was still my birthday weekend! YAYY! haha

Dessert Table #2

Saturday, April 21st:

Slept in 

Went to see "Mirror, Mirror" with Julia Roberts -- PS she is so SCARY in that movie!

Went to bed early to get ready for the Big Race the next day! 

Sunday, April 22nd:

Left SUPER early for the team Marathon in Zurich, Switzerland 

Ran the marathon -- mine was 17.8 km aka about 11 miles -- it was cold, then sunny, then drizzling, then SLEETING, then HAILING, then cold, then sunny again ALL WHILE I WAS RUNNING!!!!!! Such an experience! Haha 

Came back to my apartment, showered, hung out with my roommates for a little, then headed to the Bathes (which are heated pools inside and outside).

Soaked in the warm Bathes for about 2.5 hours and relaxed all my muscles ..... mmmmmmmm

Came home and got ready for the week ahead

The two teams for our Marathon run in Zurich, Switzerland

All-in-all it was a FABULOUS weekend and a GREAT reminder of God’s faithfulness in our journey with Him. He is constantly providing us with wisdom, strength, and kisses that are meant purely for us as we live our lives to serve Him in all ways possible. Thank you Lord for giving me such great friends and family that serve me as a constant reminder of your love for us, your children.