Life is about acceptance. Whether we are five, twenty-five,
fifty-five, or ninety-five, all we really want to be is accepted. Accepted by
our peers, accepted by our family, and accepted by our friends. However, there is
one thing that holds us back:
vulnerability.
Vulnerability. One of the hardest things that we face as
humans is being vulnerable. Once we open up the door of vulnerability, our
hearts have the ability to be broken. However, when we are finally able to free
ourselves from the chains of fear that vulnerability puts over our hearts, a
sense of freedom comes over us. Freedom to be ourselves, freedom to grow in who
we are, and freedom to trust.
Ironically just the other day I was talking with a friend
about vulnerability. Reflecting over the various directions you could go with
such a topic, I decided to focus on how it affects us as people, and our
relationships with others:
“Being vulnerable is a big
deal, and I fear that nowadays some people have a hard time understanding that.
It is one thing to be close with someone and share your time with them, but it
is another to be completely vulnerable with them and share with them things
about yourself that are very deep, that you would not normally share with just
anyone.”
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| Talking with some friends at my Bday party |
A couple days
ago I was thinking about my missionary orientation program (MOP) that I
attended before coming to Germany this past summer. As I think back to that
point in my life and the emotions that I was feeling one word comes to mind: vulnerability. I was vulnerable to the
fact that I was leaving everything that I knew and loved to come and serve
overseas. I was vulnerable to the fact that I knew nothing and no one in the
new environment I was moving to. Lastly, I was vulnerable in my relationship
with God – trusting Him with ALL of me in order to be stretched and molded by
His hands as I prepared to serve Him at Black Forest Academy.
We need to
realize that no matter how hard, painful, and scary vulnerability can be, God
is in control and, no matter what we expect to happen or those things that we
wish to accomplish, God has a bigger a better plan for our lives. It is often
hard to grasp, especially as you go through a change of jobs or environment, that
God is fully in control and knows what is to become of our lives. The best
expectation to have is to have none.
God will take care of everything as long as you leave Him in control.
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| Anna and I at the Party :-) |
Leaving God in control helps us to battle those moments of spiritual
and emotional warfare. As believers of Jesus Christ we fully dedicate our lives
to the Lord and allow Him to work in and through us as we are on the mission
field; however, sometimes we forget that the devil would never pass up an
opportunity to take someone such as ourselves down. He (the devil) is constantly
going to try and get a foot-hold in our lives and rapidly try to "take us
down" through playing into our emotions, which in turn affects our
relationships with those around us. I have been learning so much about myself
and how the devil is consistently trying to seize different parts of my life
that lead me into questioning. Questioning my time on the mission field,
questioning my relationships with my believer friends, questioning what my
life's purpose is -- and that's when you realize -- that without this attacking
that comes straight from the devil we would allow ourselves to possibly become
complacent. For it is when the devil is attacking and trying to take over that
we know we are doing something right - we are serving our almighty Lord.
Now, the whole time you were reading this you were probably
thinking, “Okay, what does vulnerability and chocolate have to do with one
another?” Well, I am here to tell you that one of the moments where I was able
to be vulnerable within the past couple weeks was at my birthday party (and the
various events surrounding it). On April 20th, 2012 I celebrated a
special day in my world. My Birthday. For some a birthday is an event that you
might not think too much into, but knowing that this was the first birthday I
was having away from home (to me) was quite a big deal. However, with the love
of amazing roommates and fabulous friends I was able to spend my birthday
weekend in style. My roommates came up with this GREAT idea of celebrating the
“24 hours of my 24 birthday.” Now, without going into TOO much boring detail I
wanted to just give you a glimpse of what exactly my birthday weekend looked
like (and possibly make you wish that you would have been here):
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| Blowing out the Bday candles |
Friday,
April 20th:
12am – Birthday card given to me by my roommate along
with the words "Happy Birthday to you!".....she had specifically
woken up from sleeping to tell me this (I was still awake at this time, of
course, haha).
1am, 2am, 3am, 4am, 5am, 6am – My roommates THANKFULLY
let me sleep during those hours so technically those hours of my birthday were "skipped"…but
I am COMPLETELY okay with that.
7am – I got out of the shower only to find my room
FILLED with signs that said "Happy Birthday, Miss Taylor!" along with
balloons everywhere.
8am – I received a note on the way out of my apartment
from my roommates with the words saying "8am: Have a great 24 hours of your 24th birthday today!"
"Happy Birthday!"
9am – A breakfast croissant given to me by my roommate
(she works as the administrative assistant at the BFA middle school).
10am – A chocolate bar! Yum!
11am – The WHOLE MIDDLE SCHOOL (about 60-65 people)
all crowded in one room to sing "Happy Birthday to You" (the Happy Birthday
song) to me......SO CUTE! (The end of this was filmed and is currently on Facebook).
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| Birthday Dinner :-) |
12pm – Special Birthday lunch for our staff April
birthdays at the middle school that was made for us by the fellow staff members
that we work with.....SO YUMMY! Strawberry, Feta, and Chicken on a salad with
Poppyseed dressing!! YUM! And the dessert was, well, magnificent! Haha.
1pm - I was "wisked" away by a woman that is
my mentor here at BFA and we walked for about 2 hours outside in the sunshine!
2pm – (I missed cause of the walk) – But, when I got
back to school there were yellow (my favorite color) flowers on my desk.
3pm – Another piece of chocolate given to me. Yum and yum.
4pm – "Happy Birthday" by NSync played over
the middle school LOUDSPEAKER at the school, haha.
5pm – Presents from my roommates at home, which
consisted of TONS of baking materials/pans – they know me well!
6pm – Dinner made for me by my roommates (Cheesesteak
Strombolli shaped like an “M” with a little heart).
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| Dessert Table #1 |
7pm – The time that my dessert party started.
Dessert party: everyone brought their own dessert and
we ate like pigs....there was "build your own sundae" of course! (A
MEGAN must).
8pm – My roommates came out with candles lit in some
peanut butter brownies and everyone sang "Happy Birthday" to me.
9pm – A small scrapbook was given to me filled with “sweet
notes” from family and friends all over the world.
10pm – A surprise skype date (that I HAD NO IDEA
ABOUT) with two DEAR friends from college that will be serving our Lord in
Haiti this upcoming year.
11pm – A rendition of the “Happy Birthday” song talked
out to me by my roommates followed by a head/shoulder massage.....I was not
complaining.
12am – A note on my pillow saying that even though my
birthday was over that it was still my birthday weekend! YAYY! haha
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| Dessert Table #2 |
Saturday,
April 21st:
Slept in
Went to see "Mirror, Mirror" with Julia
Roberts -- PS she is so SCARY in that movie!
Went to bed early to get ready for the Big Race the
next day!
Sunday,
April 22nd:
Left SUPER early for the team Marathon in Zurich,
Switzerland
Ran the marathon -- mine was 17.8 km aka about 11
miles -- it was cold, then sunny, then drizzling, then SLEETING, then HAILING,
then cold, then sunny again ALL WHILE I WAS RUNNING!!!!!! Such an experience! Haha
Came back to my apartment, showered, hung out with my
roommates for a little, then headed to the Bathes (which are heated pools
inside and outside).
Soaked in the warm Bathes for about 2.5 hours and
relaxed all my muscles ..... mmmmmmmm
Came home and got ready for the week ahead
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| The two teams for our Marathon run in Zurich, Switzerland |
All-in-all it was a FABULOUS weekend and a GREAT
reminder of God’s faithfulness in our journey with Him. He is constantly
providing us with wisdom, strength, and kisses that are meant purely for us as
we live our lives to serve Him in all ways possible. Thank you Lord for giving
me such great friends and family that serve me as a constant reminder of your
love for us, your children.
