Have you ever been shopping on ebay or amazon and notice
that there are categories for the items that you are looking into purchasing?
They are described in such ways as “new,” or “like new,” and in some cases they
are termed as “used.” Is it not interesting to think that sometimes we can put
these label on ourselves too…for example, when we are starting a new
stage in life, or perhaps a new job. Heading into this year I think a good way
to describe what I am thinking and feeling is “like new.”
As I left for Germany, once again, and flew across an oceans
worth of thoughts and memories, I could not help but have a familiar feeling of
what was to come. Having been through this flight process numerous times now,
it got me into thinking; this is just
what I do. I am the person that flies overseas to work, but still consider
“home” to be in the states. What an interesting mentality, and one that
definitely affects me from time to time.
Back again this year, I am encircled with familiar
surroundings. Arriving back into Germany I felt a sense of comfort knowing the
area and a lot of the people. As I took time to reflect over the last couple of
years, it dawned on me that my roles here have never been the same. The first
year I was new to the community and job, taking on the role of a middle school
math teacher. The second year I was familiar with the community and job, but
decided to tack on some extra responsibilities, such as Head Tennis coach for
the high school. Now, my third year, I am still familiar with the community,
but my role has changed in regards to my job. This year I am a “Resident
Assistant,” or RA, which basically means I get to love on 14 teenagers as I
sleep, eat, and breathe life with them.
Knowing this year was going to be different in almost all
senses, there was still no full proof way to guard my heart during the process.
That is just part of God’s plan though, right? At least that is what I keep
telling myself. With thoughts of being an RA this year I almost immediately
knew that I would like to be in a guys dorm; however, I was open to
anything…honestly.
It hit me hard when I found out that I would be spending my
year with teenage girls instead of teenage guys; however, was firm in my belief
that God had His hand in the whole process. I have never learned more about
myself than going through the process of finding out which dorm I would be
serving this upcoming year. With many comments from friends and loved ones,
everything from “what are you doing,” to “you are going to be amazing,” I could
not help but feel lost in my sea of emotions for what was to come. Even though
the process was somewhat uncomfortable and definitely stretching, I would not
change a thing. God definitely has me where He wants me this year; I look
forward to hearing His voice in regards to the years to come.
One of the hardest parts of this process has definitely been
energy levels. Having my energy normally focused into the middle of the day
while I was teaching, it has been taking me some time to make the switch to
where my energy’s focal point should be first thing in the morning along with
the end of the day. It has been a switch that I have embraced and tried to get
used to, but it is definitely taking some time. However, as my body and
personality are making the switch energy-wise, my heart has fallen for these 14
girls that I get to spend my year with. They have touched my soul in ways only
God could make possible, and I truly am not worthy.
Another challenge of this year continues to be my collision
of worlds. Before I thought it was hard when I was torn between two
worlds: the US and Germany;
however, now I am torn between three: the US, Res Life in Germany, and
school-side in Germany. I am a firm believer that God does not give us more
than we can handle, so I stand strong in His strength and grace as I approach
this year with many unknowns…giving it all to Him.
Building the bridge as I walk on it… I know this year will
be filled with new challenges, new circumstances, and new faces, yet my familiarity
with this community, town, language, and atmosphere will help me significantly
in the process; however, I still cannot help but feel “like new.”
 |
| "Blauen," the dorm I ended up in with co-RA and dorm parents |
"Find rest, O my soul,
in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He
is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God;
He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out
your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge." ~Psalm 62:5-8~
